edgexasxfuck

7:45AM

funny how things work out
some for the best
some for the worst









yesterday was weird
i hope i helped you realize something
about yourself and him


youre better off ...

12:49PM - honor , courage and commitment..

im joining the navy.
i process on tuesday.
ill leave hopefully as soon as possible.

its a decision ive thought through and through, its not something i woke up and thought about , not like a lot of things i do/done.

im sure a lot of you don't care but for the ones that do you'll truly be missed. if you give me your address's ill send you mail :)

i lvoe you all , but i need a chance of my own , something different.


accelerate your life. ha

12:36PM - and i can hear our hearts sinnnggg

so im stuck in the most awkward and wrong posistion ever.
started dating this guy and he turned out to be a douchebag , suprising right?
sike

well then his best friend , who helped me through it all , pretty much told me all the behind the scenes shit , him lying and how he was hooking up with like 2 or 3 other girls. shitty huh.
well hes been absolutly amazing to me , and now i cant seem to stop thinking about him. hes someone i can be myself around , when were together even around other people he seems to be attatched to me at the hip. he makes me laugh like no one. he sings me songs and holds my hand just because.
i dont wanna hurt anyone , aka the douchebag the fucked me over , because now him and i are cool again.
suck a weird situation .
i guess time will tell huh


grrrrrr

1:17PM - song ive been singing lately

for once i just want someone to actually pick me over the superficial
girl , sorry im not blonde and busty and i dont drink every chance i get
, i dont wear tons of makeup or hangout with douchebags. sorry i dont
drive a bro hoe truck or wear name brand clothes.
BUT I AM ME. and to someone that'll count for something , one day.

The eagle wants a canyon
And a place where he can rest his wings a while
The drifter wants a freight train
That will carry him another hundred miles
The lion's only lookin' for something he can sink his teeth into
Oh and i want you
The devil wants a fella
With a weakness he can wrap his arms around
The champion wants a challenger
Who just might have the strength to take him down
The river wants an ocean to run towards
And pour its heart into
Oh and i want you
Oh, every time that i'm around you
Oh, i'm on fire when we touch
Oh, when i hold you boy you know
I can't get close enough
Yes i want you
I could cry and say i need you
Tell you that i die when you're not here
I could lie and say i love you
Pour a little poison in your ear
But all i'm gonna give you is
Nothing but the bare and naked truth
Baby i want you
Baby i want you

<3



i got a new car though

5:06PM - my life.

is finally falling into place
i have an amazing boyfriend, who i see everyday.
hes been nothing short of fantastic-ness. haha
my cars fixed again
im getting a new job @ 17 an hour.
i got to see new found glory last night , so now i can really die happy.
i have terrific friendsssss!
its goooooooood.



:)

Current mood: excited

Current music: saves the day.

9:35AM - another quick trip to vegas

ill be back thursday late afternoooon
then i gotta go see my babbyy boy
:)

Current mood: finally

Current music: justin timberlake

11:42PM - Sept 3rd 2006

My Friend Kori And Chris Had Thier First Child
Kenneth David Hagen



]




He Is Absolutly Adorable
And Im SOOO Proud Of Kori
She Has Been So Strong During This Whole Thing
And Im Super Amazed At What This Whole This Has Done To Chris
Theyre Going To Be Amazing Parents


I Love Them Both Deeply.

Current mood: pleased

Current music: high and driving.

12:32AM - ive been dying to reach you.....

fri. - final burden.. got to see some good people. then i got to jacuzzi for 3 hours. and knocked out on todds bed.

sat. - UFC! so fun. i got pinned to the floor by kyle , but its cool. i got a backrub out of it haha,
then i went and hung out with Stephen Jorge and Mike.
Didnt get to bed til 715 AM so worth it though.

lsun. - consisted of Rhi and I constantly flirting with boys to find tickets for a show..
but it was totally worth it because i got to see Anthony Green , the most amazing artist alive.
he melted my heart for sure. and i got to see a band that will never tour again , feel good. and plus i
shared it with some pretty amazing people. :)

mon. - nothing , well sorta
Rhi and I swam a little and then layed on the couch
also known as being a Couch Potato.
good way to end a weekend

Current mood: blank

Current music: anthony , duh.

11:55PM - Amazing.

tonight was simply amazing
i got to see an amazing movie with an amazing boy.
he held my hand the whole time
its was .... amazing , duh.
i wouldnt have had today anyother way.
and i get to see him again , tomorrow :)


this summer just keeps getting better and better.
yay!

Current mood: Amazing

11:27PM - I LOVE THIS GIRL.

12:56AM - dundundun

im always the bad guy
i suck at everything...
i ask for something then receive it...
then i walk all over it,
i suck.

Current mood: tired

Current music: dad snoring

12:47AM - dun dun dun

im always the bad guy
i suck at everything...
i ask for something then receive it...
then i walk all over it,
i suck.

Current mood: sick

2:03AM - ps.

i hate being single
and alooooooone

1:16AM - sixteen held such better days...

its this deep burning , achy feeling ive had for years
and everyonce and awhile it comes out in tears and in angst.
its something i miss and adored.
something that only comes along if your heart is open
and the other person is willing to open up as well
some call it Love.
when its with you, you have the whole world in your hands
something deeper than any other feeling
its a feeling of trust and hope , forgiveness and beauty.

getting there wasnt easy and coming back was even harder
this feeling hasnt faded or grew dull
its the same as it was 3 yrs ago.
i can look at a picture and get butterflies
or look at notes and cry like i did the first time i read them
but now its a different butterfly and different tears , because this time
youre not mine to claim
its harder now.
i always pictured myself with you
and now that i know i cant have it that way ,
its difficult to picture my life any other way , than without you.
if i could make a wish it would to be to start over id do a few things over , not all of it.
or if i had a time machine id be back to the day i first saw you


i can easily say i was a part of the change you went through , we changed together for the best, i never really got to see the final out come of you, but i know its good.

no matter how many lovers we go through no one will EVER compare to you
the sencerity you gave, the laughter you brought me. and the feeling of knowing someone was there
it'll never compare to what anyone can give me , because our love was inpressible

and tonight is one if those nights that those tears and that angst is relieved ...

8:44AM - happy 20th to me

happy

11:20PM - reuniting.

wow so last night was intense
so i went to the movies with some friends last night
DONT go see An American Haunting
just dont.

but yes im on my way home and im texting my old boyfriend kevin
and hes like man i wish you lived closer and im like well im actually in your area
so i called him and hes like well you wanna meet up i need a ride home
im like yah ill come get you and hes like no im kidding ill take a taxi
im like no i insist ill come get you
so i drive to brea
and when i get there his best friend came running out
and he hugged me and mentioned how he missed me coming around
haha it was pretty funny , and he was pretty drunk haha
so it was really good to see Kevin.
we had really good conversation
and it was seriously back to normal in no time
well we got back to his house and i asked him if i could use his bathroom and hes like well i thought you were going to come stay for a little unless you have to leave
and i was like no no ill come in
so i come in and used the restroom
and as usual as he always used to do he comes up to the door and has to say something like shhh i can hear you peeing
weirdo
so yah we were sitting on the couch and all of a sudden he started apologizing about stuff that had happen and how things went wrong and it was bad timing and stuff like that and then hes like if all the wasnt going on when we were together i think we would still be together and i definatley agree, and then hes like well do you think there would ever be a chance for you and i again? and i shook me head yes.!
haha
so we talked some more and he kissed me good night and i left for home

and when i got on the freeway he texted me and told me "good night and thank you babe drive safe and sweet dreams , it was really good seeing you"

and yes
im very happy.

night :)

Current mood: surprised

Current music: none

10:29PM - whoa

so today was pretty effng intense.

ok so wednesday i get a call from my boss saying thier moving me out of the class i was in
which by the way im perfectly fine in
and i asked where they were moving me to and she says that im going back to the class i was in in the begginning of the school year
so im pissed because i dont want to leave the kids im working with blah blah
so this morning i wake up late to start off
i shower and when i come in my room i have a missed call and a voicemail
and its this guy from rop , who works at the school i just got pulled out and so i call him right away
he informs me that a girl from te class has ran away looking for me and wanted to know if i knew where she was
i guess wednesday when she heard the news that i would be leaving
she freaked out
before class was over and the kids went home she came up to me and was like "Coral im really sad youre leaving , i hope youll come visit us . Im really going to miss you"
and to be honest i really didnt think i ever made that kind of impact on her
she gave me a hug and off she went
i guess when she got home she wrote her sister and mom a letter and told them she was going to look for me in long beach
she knew that i lived in long beach and was hopeful she would find my car
well the sherriff called me and tried getting some answer but there was only so much i knew.

so i got to my other assignment
and im really not happy there
so i call in a sub and i left to go to the school ive been pulled out of
ps. this is all so they can accomodate someone who has now taken my place in these schools twice now
they had to arrange diffrent people just for this one lady
its serioulsy nuts
im so close to quitting

well i get back to my other class
and i really needed to talk to the main teacher there Ms Arakaki whom ive really taking a liking to
shes been really amazing to both my and the kids in the class
she calmed me down a lot , i was crying for awhile i was one worried about the girl that was missing two pissed off at the district for accomadating this bitch that has stolen my amazing position
and three just plain pissed.

well they found the missing girl , she got on a bus in hopes she would bump into me
and everything would be okay
she rode the bus all night and half day today.
no food no money.
her father is very relieved her mother thinks she going to be sueing the district for stuff and she thinks shes getting people fired
over a bus pass.
lots of drama
stuff thats hard to explain.

but anyway i dont know what im going to do about work

this weekend im gonna go see my best friend
and its Stephens 19th birthday
and MOTHERS DAY!
i love my mama

but yah
hope all is well people


xoxo

Current mood: tired

Current music: Class Act is on

9:07PM - angry

bad day..



im free friday night lets hang out

7:35PM - herrooo

well first off i want tell Stephen congrats on the promotion
you deserve it.

2nd today started off soo well , i woke up to a really cute message that said " sweet dreams "
i love that issshh

3rd im sitting at mindys right now , were going to red lobster
for an amazing dinner
with amazing people
sawweett!

I wish you were coming stephen

GET BETTER!

9:21PM - as Jim Carrey (in Bruce Almighty) would say..

Its GooooD!


dinner tomorrow with friends !
going to be amazing.


first blood - killafornia , go buy it , its good stuff
and so is the new taking back sunday - louder now.

Current mood: giddy

Current music: new FB